'Not all of you are going to be successful – but failure can be much more intriguing.'
Malcolm McClaren (on Big Brother) I SPENT a challenging two hours at the Corinium Museum in Cirencester taking part in a competition designed for children. Short of two vital answers I engaged the help of a ten year old. He said that he was prepared to give me the answers but I was to go and look for myself. Anything else would be cheating, he declared firmly. He gets my vote for integrity.
It is hard to find a television programme that doesn't involve some sort of competition which includes the public voting for the winner or loser. We are bored of it. (Notice how I have used a common and irritating piece of dreadful English....it's bored by, BORED BY, I tell you...) The only circumstance that would get me out of my chair to telephone my support would be if Prince Charles, dressed as Dorothy, were locked in a house in the jungle with Katie Price for the whole Summer and had to cook Michelin quality meals while singing karaoke. On ice.
Very little in that genre impresses us much now. But it should come as no surprise that politicians, usually late to capture the mood of the people, should decide to enter the reality television game. In a scenario which will be as spontaneous as The Antiques Roadshow the party leaders intend to stand before us and answer staged questions. Hopefully Simon Cowell, who this week undemocratically banned one of his 'acts' from owning a dog, and Louis Walsh, who was reported to be very rude about pensioner Bruce Forsythe, will be on hand to help us decide where to place our vote.
The problem is that people are not quite as stupid as the media thinks. My real life vote is precious to me and not to be handed out to anyone who is glibly schooled for television, or who woos me on the internet or in the street (both of which have happened this week). And I am not giving it to those who tell me they will take away less of my money. It is not what they take that most concerns me but how they spend what they take. I guess that most people are like me and look not for superficial presentation and advertising trickery but for clear policies that match my beliefs. Mind you I couldn't vote for anyone wearing an open-necked shirt.
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